Thursday, April 1, 2010

Saving Kevin Costner

My sister and I think I might be able to save Kevin Costner one day.

Cue laughter.

Oh, but we do! In fact, we have it all worked out. All I have to do is walk up to him, shake his hand, and say, “That’ll do, Kev. That’ll do.” Then I turn and calmly walk away, never to have contact with him again.

After that we’re quite sure his career will take a dramatic turn for the better. People will quit screwing him over. The sun will come out and the muses will smile down upon him. Heck, he might even win a slew of Academy Awards!

Yep, we have it all worked out. Only, the logic behind our plan is a drawn out process that may never see completion. Very complicated, I have to say.

You see, sometimes we sit around and plot how we would make the world better with these elaborate plans that end in the tiniest of gestures. They make us laugh. I like to see my sister happy.

And who knows? Maybe Kevin Costner will shake my hand one day and end up on the winning side of life once again. If the day comes, I hope there are witnesses so I can come back to this post and giggle some more. More than anything, I want my sister by my side so she can share in the moment.

That’ll do, Kev. That’ll do.


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