Mel Skinner -- Author, Screenwriter, etc.

MIA

2011-09-06T03:23:00.000-07:00

So, I've spent this year doing a lot of research. I've been MIA from blogging and will continue to be for awhile. I'm calling it my year of Art because I plan all of my trips around art museums in my search for inspiration. The writing has been slow, but life has been fast. I suppose that's how it goes sometimes.

Mel

Infinity

2010-12-22T23:07:00.000-08:00

Infinity by Sherrilyn Kenyon

Rather than a summary this time, here's a video for the book trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REzJ6LxFwcY

I am a fan of the DH series. So, Nick's character isn't unfamiliar to me. In all honesty it's difficult for me to find fault with the book. It's also been awhile since I read it. However, I do recall that the way the teenagers spoke wasn't true to reality. Any criticisms I had were little things, though. If you like Sherrilyn Kenyon, you're more than likely going to enjoy this book. I'm really looking forward to the next installment.

Mistwood

2010-12-21T14:44:00.000-08:00

Mistwood by Leah Cypress

The Shifter has always served the kings of Samorna. But when Crown Prince Rokan comes into Mistwood for her and she allows herself to be caught, she feels something is wrong. Caught up in court intrigue with her memory still in pieces, she finds she has trouble shifting and fulfilling her duties. As she uncovers the past she finds herself and much more.

It’s been a little while since I read this book, but what I recall most about it was the strength of the central character, the Shifter, also known as Lady Isabella. She seemed very much the wild animal forced into a human world. The book is a really good fantasy, not so much a romance. I’d recommend it.

Here's a link if you're interested:

http://www.amazon.com/Mistwood-Leah-Cypess/dp/0061956996

The Mark

2010-10-20T17:42:00.000-07:00

The Mark by Jen Nadol

Cassandra is a sixteen year old with a natural “gift” she’s only recently figured out. She can see if it’s someone’s last day by a light surrounding them. But there’s so much about her life to question already and she’s wondering if it’s really a curse. When a summer spent in Kansas turns up a boyfriend who’s really into philosophy and a new connection to her deceased mother, the time to act is here. Cassie finds the answers to her questions. Problem with uncovering truths and deciding what to do is it’s never easy, especially when you’re sixteen and pretty much on your own. In THE MARK, Cassie is confronted with “should she tell?” As a reader, the book feels more like, “would you tell?”

The book was a quick read for me—228 pgs, not speaking for pacing. I enjoyed the premise, the question. And I like how it’s setup for a series. The mythology toward the end was a bit unexpected, in a good way. Though I should say a lot of authors seem to be doing the Greek thing, it was a different direction. And while I wouldn’t call it thrilling, I did enjoy the characters. Never once did I lose interest. Overall, it’s a good, solid read from the YA section.

Here's a link if you want to purchase "The Mark" by Jen Nadol:

(I don't profit)

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/The-Mark/Jen-Nadol/e/9781599904313/?itm=1&USRI=jen+nadol+the+mark

Mel

Brightly Woven

2010-08-14T18:13:00.000-07:00

Thoughts on "Brightly Woven" by Alexandra Bracken...

Sixteen year old Sydelle lives in a border town plagued by a ten year drought. When a cursed young wizard named North brings rain with his arrival, he asks for Sydelle as his only reward. While claiming her ability to weave made his choice--so she could repair his tattered magical cloaks--they leave the town on the heels of an invasion. In the weeks long journey to reach the Capitol they are hunted by North's archenemy, a dark wizard. Sydelle and North's relationship slowly develops even as she discovers he's been keeping devastating secrets from her. While finding herself, a war and the fate of empires are at stake. Sometimes stability can come from the most unstable of characters, with a little help from a magician.

My favorite part about this book is what Sydelle actually is. I love the idea of a "Jinx" in magical mythology. Someone who is born creating magic, rather than a wizard who would manipulate it. And then I love the costs of that existence.

The book was a bit slow to start. But once I got into it I couldn't put it down. If you've wondered about moods in relation to storms, this book might intrigue you. It's a fun read.

Here's a link if you're interested:

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Brightly-Woven/Alexandra-Bracken/e/9781606840382/?itm=1&USRI=brighty+woven

Seers of Light

2010-07-27T17:29:00.000-07:00

My thoughts on "Seers of Light" by Jennifer DeLucy

Lillian Hunt is young woman unsure of the reality behind the oddities in her life until a Seer has her retrieved and she finds herself at home among her kind--Sentients. As she learns to control her natural gifts she is confronted with a conflicted romance. While she wants to hate William, it becomes all too difficult not to fall in love with the jaded vampire. And since Christian, a human, despises him the household is always teetering on chaos. Missions for the "family" to use their gifts become more intense. And finally one comes that threatens to tear them all apart forever.

I found the book to be a really good read. In the YA paranormal romance it's difficult to find a romantic relationship that will keep me happily reading for extended periods of time. This book did it for me.

William is a wonderfully written underdog of a character--it's difficult to have a reader believe this when you're working with a vampire. But it came across really well. And Lillian was a strong female protagonist, in spite of all the crying she did--that was a bit annoying. Still, her actions were consistently strong. Keeping with her age, I thought her behavior was true. By the end of the book it is William the reader will love, though. Very well-written character.

I liked how it wasn't a pure vampire story--it was kind of a ghost hunter, paranormal mix. So yeah, overall it was a solid novel. I would recommend it to anyone wanting a romantic plot. The action was entertaining, but the romance made it great.

I included a link to Amazon for the book if you want to check it out:

http://www.amazon.com/Seers-Light-Jennifer-DeLucy/dp/1936305038

Mel

Going Bovine and My Reviewing Style

2010-06-30T23:41:00.000-07:00

I've read "Going Bovine" by Libba Bray twice. For a long time I debated how I wanted to review this book. Not whether I liked it. I could say this is the best YA release of 2009 and call it a day. But this book requires something more than that in a review, and something less than what I've read so far. It's a book that changed so much about me in a hundred tiny little ways. And as we all know, such changes create others in an infinite ripple that moves throughout the world. If this book did that for me, what did it do for others?

An aside for my reviews:

A lot of people give you advice in writing. You have to weed out the bad from the good. I think it's good advice to not publicly state you didn't like an author's book(s) if you're a writer.

But if you're going to say you didn't like a book, I think you should say it to an author's face and be polite about it. And you should have a reason for doing so. I don't like the nagging of dishonesty hovering between the surface. That's not how I work. Of course, if the opportunity to "face" the author isn't a factor, I believe your review should be true to your feelings for the work. Still, you have to keep in mind that you are a professional. Act like one. Your review is your review, not to be influenced by any other source. If everyone else hates the book and you love it, then let your review reflect that love. Recommend it others. If you despise a book that everyone else adores, then don't hold back the loathing--just be clever with how you use your words. That's what distinguishes an amateur from a professional.

So, if I read your book and review it here, I'm going to be honest. This presents an immense challenge for me. It's kind of funny. When I signed up for the debut author challenge I considered this and pushed right on ahead. Now, the time has come for me to begin reviewing these books on my list--I'd planned on June, but now it seems it will be July due to recent traveling. Anyway, as I review each of these books I take a risk. If I review one negatively I might make enemies. An author such as myself cannot afford enemies. That's why I say it's good advice to keep it to yourself if you, as a writer, don't like the book.

But, to hell with it! This is my blog and I'm going to give all of them honest feelings about their books without any influences. That's a gift. Any reviewer who gives a review (without an agenda) has courage. If you're a writer risking your career, it's damn near suicidal but it's a great thing. I'm pointing this out because I wish more reviewers would do so from their hearts, stop following crowds, quit the agenda crap, and experience standing as they voice their truths. Books can being the greatness in us to the surface if we allow it. Reviewing books has the potential to bring out the best and the worst. Look for the great, try to avoid the worst, and maybe you'll be the best at it.

Now, you must be wondering why I put this aside in the middle of a review for "Going Bovine," right? Well, I have a lot of respect for Libba Bray. In fact, I have so much respect for her that I didn't like any pretenses at all. The only contact I've ever had with this author is posting one thing on her facebook wall. Why there? Why not in e-mail or in person? It seems to me I don't ever need to bother her with an e-mail. Likewise, why would I ever bother to meet her? "Going Bovine" may have changed my life, but she's a busy writer. I do, however, believe in not having that uncomfortable partial dishonesty feeling when I praise a book. So, on her facebook wall--months ago--I mentioned something like...while I had read three of her other books and they were not my cup of tea, I thought "Going Bovine" was the best YA release I'd read in a long time. My intention was not to criticize. Rather, I wanted absolute honesty. In my opinion, I gave her the ultimate compliment. Normally, I dismiss an author after three books don't take with me. For a 4th to rock my world...it taught me a lesson--two in fact. That's another post, though. Now I'm laying it all out here so anyone can learn whatever they can from the whole thing.

Back to "Going Bovine"

Every review needs some kind of summary.

Cameron is a slacker, coasting his way through high school and life. When he finds out he's dying, reality blurs. A trip across America ensues with a punk angel telling him he has to save the world She says he can save himself, too. With a hypochondriac dwarf as his sidekick and a yard gnome who claims to be a viking God, they get into one insanely hilarious adventure after another. Each is light enough to just move and keep moving, but on reflection leaves the reader introspective. Reaching the finale is about learning to live. All the fabulous action aside, the finale essentially asks the question "why do we live?" And Cameron's answer is surprisingly satisfying. The final chapter is an explosive beginning--there are two Chapter Ones. The book may, at first glance, appear to be about death, but that's wrong. This is a book about life. Sometimes you have to find the beginning at the end, and life is a crazy road trip to Disney World.

This book is one of those love it or hate it things. Give it a shot. All I know is that I haven't reread a YA book since the Harry Potter series and Twilight saga days. Oh, I have classics. But of recent releases, "Going Bovine" blew me away. If this isn't some sort of quiet phenomenon I would be surprised.

As I mentioned earlier it changed me in so many small ways. I can't help but wonder how it worked on other people. Will future artists, writers, and leaders be shaped by this book? What subtle ways will it change them? Maybe you think I'm silly, but if I'd had this book when I was in high school, I have no idea what would have happened... That I have it now, well, my path is altered.

To a generation that is increasingly disconnected from life, perhaps this book will be an awakening.

Mel

Kev!

2010-06-17T20:36:00.000-07:00

Kevin Costner, I believe!

As the reader, if you can remember a particular April post, you might believe too. ;)

Mel

May Trip/Part Five: We Are Zoos

2010-06-06T20:33:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the Moon is the heart of my soul--cold, distant, beauteous, and so rarely visited that I am ever struck anew by its pull.

18. I felt drawn to the Fort Worth Zoo, as though it held an answer...a key to a creative door. And it did.

We are all zoos. I don't mean that in the typical "we're all crazy" sort of way. It's something I'll have to illustrate.

19. We are the cheetah pacing a track.

Even though everything inside of us tells us we were born for racing across wide open spaces, we keep making circles. Our only entertainment seems to be the tease. But that gets boring too. So some days we just lay hidden in the brush.

20. We are the Asian Elephant who strays from the group, reaching for something different.

Can't you see it?

21. We are the Sun Bear. Just the little grumpy guy who can't stand the noise and the neighbors.

How beautiful they are. When you next look upon your grumpy little neighbor, try to see the Sun Bear in them. But don't look them in the eye. ;)

22. We can be Giraffes.

These creatures are majestic. When we aspire to greatness, when we live in moments of immortality, then we are Giraffes. The world changes. We walk with a different view. There are Giraffes and then there are other creatures. You can kill one, but to become one is a million times more difficult.

23. Sometimes we are the lioness, forced to listen to her son whine about his separation anxiety and housing issues.

See how her claw is just digging into the stone? And her ears... Children are both a blessing and a curse, I suppose.

24. Life will often taunt you, as though you are an alligator in a glass tank adjoining the river otters' tank--and they're feeding the otters.

So a lot of times you'll end up like the alligator, jaw hanging open in front of the glass. Maybe you're hoping an otter will swim right on in, even though you know better. Hope is a b*tch, but otters are sons of b*tches if you're an alligator. Yeah, sure, they look cute...

25. The part of us that is sly, quick, and frightening is as easily mesmerized by its reflection as a King Cobra.

This creature can stand up to six feet. It's lethal. And it merely rested its head there and watched its reflection. Power can be mesmerizing--the deadlier the more so. That is a weakness, perhaps a one flaw, for some of us.

26. A male silverback gorilla is the one person you know who can shame you without saying a word.

He'll turn his back on you, stare you down, or simply pretend you don't exist. It's a perfected look, a gesture, and a style.

No matter what went on behind him, this gorilla ignored it. You could tell he was aware. But he had this expression on his face, like he was contemplating "life, the universe, and everything." To interrupt him was to be rude.

27. We are zoos because in each of us there are a variety of animals in need of conservation, and perhaps, observation.

Take from that what you will.

I will say...sometimes you need to go into the dark building and seek out the King Cobra to really believe it exists. Humans often need to see to believe. Many animals were once thought to be mythical until they were brought to the public.

Perhaps believing in yourself is something like seeking out an animal that's never been documented. The risks are incredible. The adventure is high. And the rewards are infinite.

I can be a giraffe. Can you?

The end. (of the May Trip blog series)

Mel

June Plans

2010-06-03T09:35:00.001-07:00

I am going to do reviews in later June. I'm thinking something like a book review a day, my style. My list is almost complete--all but one, an ARC of "You". So I took a pic with a sub photo as a place-marker. The list comes from an earlier blog post on a challenge entered.

I'll try to get the ARC before then, but if not...that sucks.

Anyway, it should be interesting.

Mel

Contest and Cont...

2010-06-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

Agent Nathan is running an awesome contest. Check it out. Enter! "Rock Paper Tiger" looks mighty interesting.

http://blog.nathanbransford.com/2010/06/rock-paper-tiger-chaseaction-writing.html

In other news, I will resume the May Trip series with Part 5 in the next few days. Just in case anyone wondered.

Little editor Laura rocks, by the way! I had to say that. I'm so fortunate to know her.

Mel

I Remember You

2010-05-31T15:32:00.000-07:00

In honor of Memorial Day.

When we went to see Pelham "the Gallant" in Alabama (http://melskinner.blogspot.com/2010/05/may-trippart-1-insanity-makes-for-fab.html), there were other heroes honored.

Right across from the small car park was the monument you see above. It needed just a bit of cleaning, so we did the best we could with what we had on hand. This Ranger, Dwayne Williams, died during the September 11th attack on the Pentagon. My mother and sister wept as they gently wiped away debris from the polished stone. The heat and the wind worked against us, but we fought until the breeze surrendered.

Our military gives so much. The very least we can do is remember. I think we owe them a hell of a lot more.

We are to recall the fallen on this day. Mine is a military family. We've endured losses in many wars. But out of all my memories, I can’t help thinking of one soldier who is not blood kin and has not fallen.

He worked in the Pentagon, just as Dwayne Williams did. Only this man happened to have an appointment on 9/11. Everyone else in his office went to work. Just a normal morning, as far as any of them could tell.

There were no survivors in that office.

Soon thereafter he contacted someone in the Air Force. In his quest for vengeance against Bin Laden he needed the aid of the best and the best agreed. From what I understand, he put together a team, went overseas, and has been fighting ever since.

I can’t help thinking that wherever he goes he carries the ghosts of that office with him. Though I’ve never seen him in action, he must be great at what he does. He has to be, don’t you see? And on this Memorial Day I wonder how much he suffers the memories of the fallen.

We do what we must, what our souls compel us to do. If we are War, then let us be. War can want Peace and never find her. Indeed, the forces of each are great.

Sometimes the battlefield of life is dark and ominous.

Other times it’s haunted by lost souls.

I once wrote..."I realize now that I walk the edges of a holy battlefield few ever see. The sight has a divine beauty beyond compare. To set foot on this ground you need only give your life in exchange. And then you too can feel the ultimate rush, moments of Heaven on Earth. But beware that I fight for every step. One day, I want to fly right into the fray."

It convinced Mama J that I'm nuts. I already knew that.

In the end, we are all battlefields. Whether you have Peace or War reign is irrelevant.

On this Memorial Day, I remember those who fought and died, whether in battle or in an attack that preceded a war. I respect them.

Most of all, I remember you.

Mel

May Trip/Part Four: Art Is Key

2010-05-30T20:27:00.000-07:00

The sky above a mountain in WV. When in West Virginia, often only the sky can remind you there's a way out.

Note: I made Memorial Day a separate blog post. It seemed the right thing to do.

13. Sometimes a really old painting makes you think of "The Ring." As in, the horror movie...

It's called "Head of a Woman" by Sebastiano Del Piombo. He painted it in the 1530s. Looking at it in person though, I found myself thinking of that video in "The Ring." You know, where Mrs. Morgan is brushing her hair in the mirror and she looks up? Soooo creepy! I kept expecting this chick to look up at any moment. Of course, that would make me the weird little girl, or something. Anyway...

But, that's the mastery of the art, I guess. It's something you have to see for yourself. Like Michelangelo's first painting (see earlier blog post)...you'll be in awe.

14. When I go to see an art collection, I play "Where's Waldo" in my search for unusual watchers in odd scenes. Hybrids are bonus points!

It's supposed to be a "wary dog." I've never seen a dog like that in my life. It's like a dog-cat hybrid or something, and it's wary of the so-called "menacing cat" on the other side of the painting. I had to wonder why. Had the reason to do with hybrid genetics? ;-) So awesome!

The painting is "The Supper at Emmaus" by Jacopo Bassano.

15. There's a cursed scroll at the Kimbell, in the Asian section. At least, that's my opinion.

When I first took this picture of the center of the scroll it reversed itself. I showed two witnesses. Later, it reversed itself again. And I showed two witnesses. Maybe it's a technological glitch? Maybe it's cursed? At times, people say they can see things in the photo.

Note: When I previewed this blog post, it had reversed again. It's upside down. On my computer it's right side up. I'm leaving it alone, even if it stays upside down. Just stand on your head to look at it, or something. Freaky.

Left side of the scroll. I couldn't fit the whole thing into one take with my camera phone. It was the only scroll raised on a table. Difficult.

Right side of the scroll. "Returning From a Visit" by Zhu Derun is a Chinese work created in the mid-fourteenth century. It's said the time was very "traumatic." This is reflected in the Handscroll.

I'm going with beautiful, but cursed.

16. A magical mask that allows the wearer to identify the guilty--including those who cause disasters.

Butterflies all over the world would go down. Wait. Butterfly Effect aside, would it work on other species? Ah, never mind.

So this is a "Diviner's Mask" from Africa, Democratic Republic of the Congo and Angola. The Yombe people, in the early 20th century had these hella rad ceremonies where past, present, and future events were revealed. A divination specialist would wear a mask like this one, special to each ceremony. This one was used by a specialist looking for the tribe member responsible for a crime, accident, or a disaster. Awesome, right? And scary. Hate to be in their sights. B*itch of day, or night.

17. That night, I had a nightmare that I was affianced to Frederick H. Hemming. In other words, I dreamed I was Mary Anne Bloxam but I had my mind.

I'd seen this painting of her at the Kimbell.

And I read about Thomas Lawrence's--the painter of her portrait--dealings. Somehow, at the end of the day, my subconscious created a historical horror for me.

So there I was in the nightmare, poised to paint porcelain. Ugh. I had an awful fiance who made me sit for a portrait to enhance his status in society. Lawrence didn't really want to paint me, and I had to hear about it. But paint me perfectly he would, 'cause Lawrence had to live up to his name. And he coveted those drawings my fiance is holding over his head, right? Yep.

No options in life. I can paint porcelain, but I can't have achievements like b*itching Lawrence over there. It's "sit pretty" no matter how many hours it takes or how uncomfortable I am. Everything is stuffy, smelly, and constrained. And all I can see is a legacy of plates and a status symbol painting with me faking a smile for Super Lawrence over there.

Ah, here comes my future husband. Looks like it's time to be his arm decoration. Wonderful. Then I wake up. Thank God!

The painting is lovely. I never realized why it bothered me until the next morning.

Great art can touch emotions in the coldest heart. It's simply a matter of finding the key piece. Some people have to wander through a thousand galleries.

Preview of Part 5...

She's not quite a Turkey Vulture. But she's a little editor. :)

May Trip/Part Three: A Balcony Scene

2010-05-27T21:50:00.000-07:00

Mama J says it looks like someone gave this horse a real good kick in the rear. At the time, I just thought it one of the better pieces at the Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center in Austin, TX. Now I see it and I laugh.

8. Sometimes one of your cousins gets married and you have to sit through an outdoor wedding--but it has some surprises.

I love surprises at events that would otherwise be hot and uneventful. Who doesn't love an impish little cousin who takes off during the ceremony? The ever-present threat of rain that comes out of nowhere? Oh, and the relatives that just don't fit in and have no particular want to, the same ones who end up at a table together...they were talking sh*t too good to miss. Little Bo Peep would have taken the crook to her black sheep.

But I think what I liked most of all about the general atmosphere of the wedding was the admittedly geekish theme that kept peeking through. Star Wars played into the music and the intros. In what was, otherwise, a very, well, shall we say "upscale" ceremony that tried to look modest, our family's geek showed through. Gotta love that! We are a family of sci-fi, if nothing else.

9. I have a soulmate, and it can never be.

The details of this are a secret, naturally. But when I could I slipped away from the wedding and went to stand on the balcony overlooking a meadow.

There I felt him in the rising wind. I could imagine those stone walls were protecting me, merely keeping me in wait of his return. If I looked across the meadow long enough I could see him riding--but always away. And I forever wished the wind to be at his back. So it was that I willed my spirit to be the wind...the air that guided him, protected him, whispered of enemies unseen.

That's all I can ever be to him.

Every once in a while we cross paths. We live and die in those moments. We're drawn and are thus compelled to be repelled. Time isn't stolen; it's torture and rapture.

Night came. The path to the balcony was lit, as you can see, but the meadow was dark. It took me a little while to adjust. But the wind was there all the time.

When I wander off by myself, people tend to think me strange. Maybe I am. Ah, but to stand on the balcony at night and think of him with the wind in my hair... I think back on it now and my heart aches to return.

I'll remember my cousin's wedding, if only for the balcony scene.

10. If you go to the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, Texas--go early.

You might see something weird or really funny. Take, for example, this picture of Marky Mark. I took one picture in the Alamo Drafthouse. The candle is for orders, and so you can pay in the dark, later. All I was thinking about was taking a pic of the theater...totally random. The place stood empty since we were early. And I got a memorial-looking photo of Mark.

They put on music videos, short documentaries--just funny stuff--before the movie. Even their "shut your phone off" run-through made me laugh. Just show up ahead of time. Food and drinks were novel for me, too. Crazy Austin.

11. Sometimes a crow flies over your head and lands on the van nearby just as you arrive at the Kimbell. So you take a picture. And then you get a little weirded out by the statue in front of the museum when you walk up to it. So you take another picture and compare them later.

The crow.

The statue outside the Kimbell Museum--Fort Worth, TX.

Is it just me or is that trippy? Yeah.

12. I want Peter Paul Rubens' confidence.

There's a quote next to the Oil on Panel I showed in closeup in my last blog post. Rubens once confessed, "My talent is such that no undertaking in size, or how varied in subject, has ever exceeded my confidence and courage.”

I want to be so skilled that I can confess this. So I continue to learn. I write. And I'll never stop. I am a writer or I am a dead writer. If I'm smart and lucky, I'll be a great writer. We'll see.

A preview of Part 4...

Michelangelo's first painting, "The Torment of Saint Anthony." He painted it at age twelve or thirteen. The painting is recently acquired by the Kimbell in Ft. Worth, TX and the first by Michelangelo to enter an American collection.

May Trip/Part Two: I Walk On Graves

2010-05-23T20:56:00.000-07:00

Why would you even build this? I'm calling it the "Suicide Staircase." There must be a purpose, but I don't have the time or inclination to find it. It's kind of funny and I'd thought I would share, anyway.
From my recent visit to the Nutter Center in Dayton, OH.

Disclaimer: Do NOT commit suicide. Do NOT try walking down or off the staircase.

I can't believe I need to put that up. This world we live in.

Part Two...

5. Sometimes you just find a tank randomly parked in Alabama and have to take a picture.

Upon leaving the Alabama graveyard I spotted this:

We'd passed a pitiful looking base (compared to what I'm used to, anyway) a few miles back, so this seemed a little lost. I don't know, maybe you can just own tanks and park them there. If I hadn't been on high alert because of the Titanic sighting of earlier that day, I might have missed this gem.

6. I'm descended from royalty--one of the Henrys--and I know this because my mother is a genealogist who is fascinated with all our dead relatives. I should also mention I'm related to at least one historically notorious killer and quite a few criminals.

It's kind of funny because the elderly living relatives don't like to talk about the shameful parts of the family tree. They'll hush you if you bring up, well, even the horse thief our Great Aunt impulsively chose to marry. I just giggle behind my hand as my mom's crowd tells the rest of the tale. You know, how Great Auntie waited until her hubby was hung, moved to a new area, and got her a different man? Yep.

Before heading into Austin, we stopped in a tiny Texas town to take pictures of graves in the family tree. One stood out to me. You see, graves that old in this graveyard were little more than weathered chunks of rock. Mom looked so hopeless. And then, there he was...there they all were. Our family's heritage had been preserved for pictures:

I had acquired burs at that point--not the famous family that sounds similar--so I was relieved. Now I'm a bit sarcastic, as you can see. Apparently, there were so many of the Tullous boys that they formed a whole unit/division(word?) of the Calvary when they joined the C.S.A. during the Civil War. I can only imagine that much of my family in a Calvary charge. Ah, the stories I could have written.

7. On the way to Austin, there are a lot of big, eccentric ranchers and one of them owns a gazelle.

Like the Titanic, my shock was too great for a picture. Then again, there are rich people who have rare animals at their houses, right? Maybe gazelles aren't really rare, just unusual. It's a rather random choice, though. And you'd think it would be difficult to contain...

The mysteries of that drive still confound me. Heck, maybe they just like to have safaris on their property.

A preview of what's to come in Part 3...

A close-up of "The Martyrdom of Saint Ursula and the Eleven Thousand Maidens" by Peter Paul Rubens.

May Trip/Part 1: Insanity Makes for Fab

2010-05-18T13:01:00.000-07:00

Don't Giraffes seem...majestic? I watched them for some time. I went to the zoo with them in mind. Thought I should start this blog series with that pic and thought.
Fort Worth Zoo, TX.

I'm going to list some of the highlights of my insanely fabulous trip in chronological order with pics. This will have to be broken up in parts because so many incidents came up.

1. In Kentucky I experienced the sci-fi movie feel of sitting on the interstate in my parked car and watching people behave...strangely.

I couldn't see anything except vehicles lined up in both directions. There was no sign of an accident. No news. And after keeping the car on for so long in park, we had to turn it off. The heat became stifling. Though I rolled down the windows, it made me nervous considering the surroundings. I didn't allow anyone in our car to get out, under the circumstances.

During our sitting, some people within my sight got out. Some people came running down the interstate in packs or simply strolled there. Some just wandered around as if lost. Some chatted, leaning idly against their vehicles. I saw a guy exchanging CDs with a stranger. Another guy drove off into the bushes. One lady did a wild maneuver with her car to get it between two parked trucks, across the medium, and moving in the opposite direction. Only one motorcycle passed by, and at a leisurely pace.

(I didn't want to black out faces and tags, so this is one photo with enough weirdness to prove the point.)

After so much oddness and as the time stretched on, the writer in me began to wonder about scenarios beyond accidents. I joked with my companions about zombies, alien invasions, the Apocalypse, and what plan we would follow in each case...how we would survive. Then I had someone call and find out the truth--massive accident, miles down the road.

Still, I've never seen people act that way on the interstate. Fascinating.

2. In the middle of a small town in Alabama, someone has a gigantic blowup float of the Titanic sinking into the ocean in their yard.

We drove by on the way to see a Civil War graveyard where John Pelham is buried. The GPS took us by on this random road and I was like, "What the...? Is that the Titanic sinking? And why are those people leading their horses around it?" But there wasn't time to take a picture in my shock. Yeah, someone in Alabama has a huge blowup float of the Titanic half-sunk into the yard with the ocean waving around it and everything. It towers. I guess those people just happened to be leading their horses around at that time. Who knows?

3. I stood on a shabby brick wall over a busy road to take a cool picture of Pelham "the Gallant," or his grave, anyway.

One shot with the camera phone. I only took pictures of things that I thought were worth my time and I had time to take pics of. Lately I've been so different, so into the rush and ready to go. I'm old enough to know the consequences and I don't care. Awake and alive. It's kind of funny when I think about taking pictures in graveyards.

4. Louisiana is a state for street racing and survival driving.

Disclaimer: I do NOT suggest breaking any laws. You might die or end up in jail, etc.

But I have to say that my trip through Louisiana was an experience in racing and survival driving. I LOVE that state! Everyone drove 20 over the speed limit, at minimum, except for the occasional people considered by the majority to be obstacles in a game. The interstates in the day have hella awesome views. The roads are thrills like roller-coasters to maneuver on. At night, I came upon teams of racers who sometimes put on shows of their skills. Other times I got to race with a pack. And the bridges...oh, yeah!

Due to the adapt or die mentality I experienced in Louisiana, my driving in extreme situations has improved dramatically. I'm also a lot more confident in my abilities. I always thought when I go to Los Angeles, CA, I would just hire someone to drive for me. Now I'm cool with the idea of driving there. It's a step thing, I guess.

The one pic I got of Louisiana happened on the other side of New Orleans. I thought to get a shot of the water with my phone. At that point I'd adapted to flying down the road with everyone else. The cops went twenty above the fastest cars. As far as I could tell they only pulled over suspicious cargo vehicles, etc. Speeders would've had to go to overly obvious suicidal lengths to get their attention.

Though I didn't know it, a cop had shot up on my rear as I went to take the pic. I moved into the right lane soon after and he passed me. But you can just see his car in the rear-view mirror in this pic.

Mel

To be continued in Part 2...

Traveling In May

2010-04-30T16:04:00.000-07:00

I'm writing out the new ending. It's late in the game and that makes me nervous--not the plot but my writing of it. So I have to move my schedule back. Yeah, frustration.

I guess I'm anxious to prove something to myself and tired of the effort. Yet, I will never stop. I suppose that's just another definition of insanity.

Anyway, I'm getting ready to spend most of May in the south, with Texas being my longest stay of the month. There will be no rest, but I'm not unhappy.

The end is awesome, or it will be once it's polished. Oh, and the query letter is coming along.

I will probably post some book reviews in June. Thinking of doing a two week set where every day is a different book...

There's always so much to do and so little time.

Mel

Random Beliefs and Advice

2010-04-27T10:23:00.000-07:00

So I was thinking--dangerous habit, of course--and I decided to make a blog post of it. Here are some random things I believe...

1. Celebrities are like disreputable unicorns.

Everyone wants to see a celebrity, to know one, etc. But most everyone knows they are flawed. And if you didn't know, once you do come across one of these rare creatures, you can certainly see it for yourself by a little exposure.

So to my mind, this is what celebrities are best compared to. It makes me laugh.

However, the same rules still apply. Moving on to my next belief then...

2. If you know any celebrities, you keep it a secret.

Even a disreputable unicorn must not be spoken of or they'll go away. And I, for one, like being able to find them when I need to.

My advice to anyone who is new to the game and knows very little about connections--keep quiet. Use them only when you absolutely have to...and I mean last resort. No one likes to have a favor called in or to be called upon.

Moving on from individuals to the general public…

3. To be a celebrity is to trade privacy for publicity, but this contract does not take away their rights as human beings.

Anyone entering into the entertainment industry signs an invisible contract that trades their privacy for potential publicity. Nothing is fair in life, and you are a fool if you do not understand all of this going in. I have no pity for people being followed around by cameras. If they want out, quit, and it will fizzle away--I've seen proof.

On the other hand, celebrities are human and have rights. No one needs to be in their house, taking pictures of them in the bathroom, etc. I consider these basic rights and common decency. But if you walk around naked outside or don't buy curtains, well, that's your problem.

4. Published writers of fiction should not publicly speak of their political views.

It seems wrong to me to use whatever influence you have outside of your realm. How do you know you're right or wrong? Pushing people towards a certain way to govern themselves, basically, or toward a politician who will run their lives, is an act of great responsibility.

Who are we as novelist to dabble in politics? What trouble might we inadvertently cause?

If you are a political writer, that's something else. You know what you are getting into from the start. But for anyone published in fiction to intentionally push politics seems unwise to me.

I understand writing to be controversial and all of that. What makes me uneasy is the intent and the uncertainty of the result. My advice, for what it's worth, is to be aware of that uncertainty if you are carrying political intent around.

Oh, and if you think you are being subtle with politics in your plot or your statements online--it's NEVER subtle.

5. Determination and personality are key to publication.

Recently, I've seen some books be picked up from submissions that truly deserved it, and some that shocked me--in a "why?" way. They all have two things in common...the authors have determination and personality in abundance. They established a presence online, in their own little nooks. For a few years now, they've been around.

So, I thought about it. I have the determination. My personality still needs work. I'll get there, though.

6. People should be more aware.

The more aware you are of what is going on around you, the greater your chances of survival. It’s quite simple. In life, in publishing, it is a principle that transcends.

Mel

Sarah Wylie's Contest

2010-04-14T08:41:00.000-07:00

In celebration of the sale and soon-to-be-published status of her book "All These Lives," Sarah Wylie is having a great contest for writers. Among the prizes are a lunch date with The Query Shark and Suzie Townsend.

Check it out:

http://sarahwithachance.blogspot.com/2010/04/something-fun-and-celebratory.html

Mel

Cocktail Party Prank

2010-04-07T01:48:00.000-07:00

The cocktail party is going great. Until...

Some dude brings up Japanese Cinema. And this Chick turns to John O'Lasseter to say, "I never could get into the whole Miyazaki thing."

Well, O'Lasseter's jaw drops, allowing his drink to run out of his mouth and down his shirt. His assistant quickly helps him clean up. The rest of the group is pale and still.

"What?" Chick says, in all seriousness. Or so they think.

His righteous flames of fury grow more intense as an intern chuckles behind him. "Miya--" O'Lasseter begins, only to be interrupted.

"--I didn't know you watched his sh*t Mr. Lasseter." Her voice seems to silence the whole room.

A purple O'Lasseter opens his mouth to speak or yell, roughly handing his drink off to his assistant.

But she's too quick. Just before she turns on her stilettos and heads for the Ladies' Room, she leaves everyone with an ironically airy, "I've gotta take a dump."

John starts to cough, his eyes bulging in his head as she passes from sight.

They say she never came out of the bathroom. An intern who went in looking for her a half hour later still says she just disappeared. And like White House visitors, no one really took note of who the extra guest happened to be.

So to this day nobody knows who took a dump on John O'Lasseter and got away with it.

I wonder if this joke/prank has ever actually happened to someone.

Note: For the record, I love the works of Hayao Miyazaki. I just thought I should clarify that. Oh, and "Ponyo" rocks!

Eternity

2010-04-03T21:53:00.000-07:00

In the last light I reclaimed my memories. I am redeemed.

My Love, I see you. See me in the time I was not lost. We are together then. And we will be the same when the shining overcomes the dark of your eyes.

Feel the truth in these words with each breath you take. Read them aloud once and let each syllable pour from your mouth like blood from a self-inflicted wound. Weep. Be born again in our love and do not grieve me long. I never could conscience your suffering.

Let our bond wash away the pain. Hold still and feel my warmth trying to ease your heart. There are no barriers mortality can raise between you and I. Allow me to fill your soul with all of the radiance in mine.

Remember…we are already one. Together. Eternally.

Just close your eyes and breathe for both of us.

Mel

Note: I very recently wrote this little piece with the idea of lovers in mind. Two who had been separated by Alzheimer's disease for awhile--but were never really separated at all. My offering, so to speak.

Saving Kevin Costner

2010-04-01T02:33:00.000-07:00

My sister and I think I might be able to save Kevin Costner one day.

Cue laughter.

Oh, but we do! In fact, we have it all worked out. All I have to do is walk up to him, shake his hand, and say, “That’ll do, Kev. That’ll do.” Then I turn and calmly walk away, never to have contact with him again.

After that we’re quite sure his career will take a dramatic turn for the better. People will quit screwing him over. The sun will come out and the muses will smile down upon him. Heck, he might even win a slew of Academy Awards!

Yep, we have it all worked out. Only, the logic behind our plan is a drawn out process that may never see completion. Very complicated, I have to say.

You see, sometimes we sit around and plot how we would make the world better with these elaborate plans that end in the tiniest of gestures. They make us laugh. I like to see my sister happy.

And who knows? Maybe Kevin Costner will shake my hand one day and end up on the winning side of life once again. If the day comes, I hope there are witnesses so I can come back to this post and giggle some more. More than anything, I want my sister by my side so she can share in the moment.

That’ll do, Kev. That’ll do.

Mel

2010 Debut Author Challenge

2010-03-31T21:10:00.000-07:00

I thought I might as well enter this challenge since I read at least 12 YA novels in a year. Yes, I'm a late starter--but I'm a fast reader.

I'll list twelve now and probably add more as I go along this year. Of course, I will be posting a little review for each one--that will happen at a slower rate than I read. Oh, and some books I might say a lot about. We shall see.

I still have to post a review for Libba Bray's "Going Bovine"...which doesn't count because it was published in 2009.

2010 Debut Author Challenge (Young Adult)/My List:

1. THE SECRET YEAR by Jennifer Hubbard

2. THE BODY FINDER by Kimberly Derting

3. WISH by Alexandra Bullen

4. BRIGHTLY WOVEN by Alexandra Bracken

5. THE MARK by Jen Nadol

6. BEFORE I FALL by Lauren Oliver

7. MISTWOOD by Leah Cypress

8. YOU by Charles Benoit

9. INFINITY by Sherrilyn Kenyon

10. SEERS OF LIGHT by Jennifer DeLucy

11. THE AWAKENING by Kelley Armstrong

12. THIS WORLD WE LIVE IN by Susan Beth Pfeffer

I don't know that I will be all into winning prizes every month. In fact, I may forget to post a link on that blog or whatever. I'm just a reader and it seems like a good idea.

You can join in the good times as well by clicking on the "Debut Author" image on my sidebar and following the link. Have fun!

Mel

Dear John--My Experience With the Movie

2010-03-26T22:17:00.000-07:00

So, I took my youngest Godchild (age 12) to see "Dear John" when it came out because that's what she wanted to see. I thought "Percy Jackson" looked like the better alternative, but I guess the girls at school all wanted to go see "John" and that meant I had to go, too.

Well, I did enjoy the movie, "A Walk to Remember." I thought there might be some chance this adaptation would turn out okay.

But we get into the movie--which happened to be packed--during the previews and it is all couples. Here I am with my Godchild during the matinee hours and we're at a chick-flick/date-o-rama! And I thought to myself, I hope there's nothing in this film that I am going to have to explain later. Then again, she's in middle school--what doesn't she know about all that?! As a Godparent, the whole situation just made for a lot wincing and "is she okay with that?" glances from the corner of my eye.

And the movie turned out as I expected--not so good. Also, I don't think she liked it. She frowned at me when I looked over at her as we stood to leave, as if she neither understood or cared to understand why that couple was a couple.

Later, I questioned her and she reassured me that she had enjoyed the film. Still, I doubt it. None of the excitement I usually see when she's seen a film she likes showed.

But the one good thing about that whole experience came from a chick in the audience. At the end of the movie, right when the lights started to come on and the very last scene had faded out, she just loudly stated, "But she's a whore!" The timing couldn't have been more perfect.

I had to cover my mouth to keep from bursting out with laughter. Some people did laugh. Some outright agreed with her. A few nodded their heads as they stood to leave. Only the women who had been weeping piteously for awhile, and could do little else, weren't amused. There were several military couples in the audience, so that might have made a difference.

However, By God, that character was a whore! No matter the reason, I just can't conscience the "Dear John" approach. The movie made a pretty good argument for her side, but still. I don't care. And giving her anything at the end is bull.

I care too much for soldiers to see people rips their hearts to shreds. Maybe the military should "issue" spouses, as the saying goes. ;)

Mel

One Third

2010-03-25T00:27:00.001-07:00

I have made it through a third of the book's final edit before I turn it over to the editor for the second and final eval. Good Lord, the first part of the book is always such a pain is in the butt to me! Though I can't exactly say I'm glad to be through with it, because I know I will have to go back to it again and again, it is still an accomplishment.

So yeah, I'm standing for a few moments on a hill. I'm going to have to climb another. And there are some mountain ranges in the distance, but I'm not worried. At this point, I can almost say I'm enjoying the struggle...almost.

Mel

Facing Raptors

2010-03-19T20:12:00.000-07:00

Copper is dying.

The retched scent of something burning will not leave me. I’d seek it out, but I know it’s just me standing at the gates of my past, trying to peer through the smoke at the ruins. Even the occasional nosebleed can’t overcome that smell. I’m suffocating, drowning, choking as I slip down…down…but even near the earth they cry out to me.

The dead never rest in Hell.

I look to the east and the cliff. A secret graveyard waits for her there, bedside the great fall. I sometimes long for that view. The pull to go is in me, but instead I stand at the window and weep. Oh, I need to go. Still, I remain.

It’s happening again. Maybe I could make a difference this time, as I believe I might have before. Maybe I could save her. Yet, I am as helpless as a small child. Anyway, she’s old now and it might be her time…maybe.

Fear? No, I don’t think so. It’s more than fear--as if the Velociraptors from JURASSIC PARK (the movie) awaited me up there and by the cliff…not just her, her daughters, and the dead. Yes, it feels like those awful dinosaurs are waiting for me, only they won’t kill me outright. I’ll be gutted, eaten on, and left a suffering mess for the rest of my miserable life, if I go. And I’ll deserve it. And I’ll remember.

Sounds stay with me the most as night falls. The Velociraptors have a high-pitched communication, like a scream, in the movie. Horses scream when they are terribly frightened or in tremendous pain. The two sounds almost blend in my memories, the more I try to work up the nerve to go to her. Is she screaming? Or has the final quiet come? Either way, the raptors will be there, waiting.

I’m a coward.

Every day I fight it. Life beat another personality out of me, a stronger person, and left me with this determination…little else. Some people say that by living I’m brave. What a load of sh*t! I live because I love what’s left and they need me to. I live because I have goals. I live because it’s not my time yet. Being brave has nothing to do with it.

I want to fight raptors for Copper, but I ask myself if it’s suicide to do so. Can she be saved? Is she too old and sick? When I return, how long will it be before I am able to write again? And I’m so alone here. Ninety-nine percent of the time, I love my solitude. But if I go there, I may not be able to make it back alone.

The cost of being a reclusive writer is high.

They say writers are solitary creatures. I’ve always been thrilled with this. Everyone thinks I’m full of crap, but I like being a recluse. Only, look at me now. Serves me right, huh? I need help to get a few hundred yards and back again. But I don’t trust a lot of people to let them that close, and the few I do either live too far away or are too busy. So here I am.

I am paying for solitude now. In the years to come, there will be more payments that will weigh heavily on my soul. All of my preparations did little, if nothing, to numb me to the pain. Therefore, I will brace myself and survive. I shudder when I think about what will be left of me.

I learn.

They say life’s beatings make you stronger. That’s not true. They make you wiser, but they also make you a coward. And being wiser isn’t necessarily a good thing. Like with me, I’m just better at avoiding the blows.

I think the most content person in the world lives in a little house on a meadow in the middle of nowhere, tending a garden, untouched by the world.

Copper is dying. If I can’t save her, at least she will be beyond the reach of this world. One day, I’ll write about leaving her to the raptors. Honestly, I think we are both just outside a few hundred yards of help to make a difference.

Then again, if she still lives when next I wake, I may just go on that suicidal mission after all. Love can give you the insane rush to face raptors. But don’t ever call it bravery.

Any path I choose will be rough.

Mel

Status

2010-03-05T16:15:00.000-08:00

I can't feel my face...because I went to the dentist today.

I am still editing and working on the query letter.

I finally joined a critique group.

Life goes on. My Bete Noire (so named from Betsy Lerner's latest blog post) is as quiet as I, so I have to assume the world is stable enough. ;)

Mel

PTSD and I

2010-02-18T00:12:00.000-08:00

Written on Tuesday, Feb. 16th 2010

I lost a year of time, roughly. From that year, I can only recall a few memories and those are traumatic to different extremes. My mind has just blacked out the rest. I don’t know if I will ever get that year back. For a long time I didn’t want it back. How much has been repressed and how much has simply been bashed from my neurological system by the horrors…it’s difficult to say.

Sometimes, like on a night such as this one, I sit here and try to force myself to remember. I stare into the abyss for hours, afraid, and yet I hope something will return to me.

Why? Well, it’s been several years now and I don’t want to suffer from night terrors anymore. I don’t want to have my darkest memories come to me when I least expect them and leave me a shocked statue when they recede into those shadowed corridors of my mind.

Betsy Lerner (http://betsylerner.com/) encourages writers to get therapy. I believe that is a good thing. She’s a brave lady.

But I think there is a stigma attached to mental illness, no matter what some people say. I’ve certainly experienced it in my personal life. Betsy wrote about how the publishing industry views mental illness in her book, too. So maybe the smart thing for me to do is to say nothing.

Still, as I left therapy for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) this afternoon, I decided to take start taking some big risks with my life. Nothing ever changes without risk. First of all, I just publicly admitted that I have a mental illness—PTSD.

Frankly, I’m tired of hiding such a huge part of what shaped me into the writer I am today. And I think, even if some agents—and later, some publishers—don’t want to take me on because I suffer from PTSD, then our professional relationship wasn’t meant to be.

When the time comes, I will keep fighting to get my work represented and published no matter how many more obstacles I am presented with. After all, I survived so much in life already, why would I let this stop me?

Another reason I kept quiet…my fear of my triggers. But I am going to have to face this too, if I want to get better. People are going to hit them—accidentally or on purpose--and I will be thrown back… I’ll just have to cross that bridge when I get there.

I suspect hiding the PTSD has contributed to me being unable to completely heal thus far. As with digging up the memories and speaking of them—a challenge of immense proportions—I think getting everything out there is my only choice. The truth is very freeing, I understand.

But, as I sit here and stare at that void, I wonder if the memories I still have will unsettle some things I shouldn’t. Some things I buried probably should not be disturbed, with good reason. I know the therapy sessions are going to nearly kill me, drain me. I suppose I am nervous because I am truly testing the limits of my strength. And no matter what happens, I can’t stop.

Now I ponder how my work will change if I manage to cure myself of PTSD. How will my voice be altered? Will it be a bad thing for my writing and a good thing for me? And is that what I want?

Since I actually ask myself the last question, I have a right to fear testing my strength. For how can I heal when part of me doubts? Maybe some messed up part of me wants to suffer and that’s why so much time has passed? They say people who suffer from PTSD do things like that…

Maybe I am so merged with my writing, so twisted that I would rather remain locked in a world of night terrors and flashbacks than risk letting my work slip even the slightest bit. Oh, I can see myself all right. But I wonder if I will be sabotaging this effort before I’ve begun. And what does that truly say about me?

To be the greatest at anything, you must be willing to sacrifice everything. After all I have endured to this point I am starting to think it might mean I can’t have peace as well. Then I think, that’s just the PTSD talking. I don’t know.

I do a lot of thinking and staring into the abyss of my mind.

Mel

“And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.” ~~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Song Lyrics -- very rare for me...

2010-02-10T03:19:00.000-08:00

LAUGHING SPITE
By
Mel Skinner

There’s spite in your smile, Love
but you ask me to stay
Then you want me to reach
but you get in my way

So you laugh --- Yeah, you laugh
And here I am, your favorite joke
You love me, leave me, give me hope
Then you laugh ---
And I forget why I’m here anymore

You were the weaver of dreams, once
but you failed to reveal them lies
Just makebelieve so you could be King
Did you think I’d want to be the Princess who cries?

(Now) You laugh at me --- Yeah, you laugh at me ---
And here I am, Your favorite joke
You love me, leave me, give me hope
And I (can’t) forget why I’m here anymore!

Oh, love is not love when manipulated!
How long ago did I go from your girl,
to the joke you paraded?---!
When all I wanted was a promise---
a promise --- a promise ---! of one true intenTION!

So try…Laugh at me!...Laugh at me---!
And here your favorite joke is leaving
Once you loved me,
and it’s your turn for grieving

Maybe you’ll laugh, Baby
But I only hope I’ll be too far away, to hear you
Oh, to hear you
Oh, I don’t want to hear you

No, it’s my turn to laugh now…

Is there a smile without spite,
eyes without fight,
somewhere?

Copyright © 2009 Mel Skinner

NOTES:

Since I can't really work with the format here, I left out the notes you would normally see like "bridge," "repeat," and the underlined words, etc. I tried to make up for this in other ways. Who knows if it worked out? I rarely work in lyrics. This song just happened to come to me.

I have put it here after much debate. Though I own the copyright, I doubt I will actually try to actively sell it. To be frank, I'm much too busy. And I have no idea if this is crap or not. I like it, but who am I to judge lyrics, right? So the blog it is.

Mel

Test Groups

2010-02-04T04:22:00.000-08:00

Throw my manuscript to the dogs, if you please! I want to watch their reaction. By God, I need it!

At this point in my writing career I really value a good B*tch of a reader in my Test Group. Interpretive reading of critiques just plain old sucks, if you ask me. A good B*tch reader will give it to you straight—none of this walking on eggshells bull people try to hand over to preserve your “feelings.” Blah.

The learning process slows when people try to smooth over the more difficult truths. There’s too much to comprehend and too little time!

However, I understand that the readers in the Test Groups are mostly strangers to me and cannot know that I am at a level where I will not be hurt by criticism. Conveying this to them with words is not enough, obviously. And I have yet to divine another way to communicate this truth in a convincing manner. Everything I think of seems inadequate. If you have a suggestion, please feel free to comment.

So when I find a good B*tch reader, I always carry them over into the new Test Group, if they are willing. By the way…I mean B*tch in the most respectful of terms--they rule the pack in this analogy.

Anyhow, a teenage reader—a pup--from one of my earlier Test Groups heard about the current rewrite for “Nightmares” and made a comment along the lines of… “Oh, so there won’t be that endless introduction of that Commander now?” In her defense, she meant it as a compliment.

I admit, in the earliest draft, the introduction was too much. My problem lay in the fact that she never once mentioned any serious complaints while in the Test Group. Nothing showed up on the manuscript or on the questionnaire afterwards. Naturally, I laughed off the comment. But it got me to thinking.

I knew that readers were not going to be completely harsh with me--not all of them, anyway. Of the group in question, two were excellent (they let me learn!). That is a low percentage, but not unexpected. From the rest, I was able to gain a bit here and there. Everyone allowed me to learn something—not everyone was a mine of information. Then again, with the large percentage of teenagers, I seldom find mines of the sort I hoped for. A teenager can be a B*tch reader, though they rarely have the guts.

On the other hand, the response was very encouraging. I am too realistic to let that do anything for me for more than seconds at a time, though. Still, I remember what a certain author told me (I don’t know if she would care if I mention her name, so I am going to err on the side of caution). She said… “If you have the teenagers, you have it.” I had discussed the group with her briefly and the early results, which showed a practically perfect score and all these great comments from the teenage audience. None of the adults were in yet, and I was a bit worried on that count. She helped me through a really stressful time, and I’ll never forget that. But I digress.

When I think on the teenager readers in that Test Group—some were hardcore readers, but I managed to get a range including a high school football player—I wonder about the ones who were probably being easy on my feelings unnecessarily. What did they really think?

So I thought about what my recent conversation had revealed in comparison with what a B*tch reader from that group had to say, and they match up pretty closely. The emphasis with teenagers is definitely on issues that have to do with their attention span. I’ve already been working on these problems for quite awhile.

I’m going to have another Test Group for “Nightmares” in the late spring, I think. The results should offer some great comparisons.

I hope this will be the last one. They are expensive propositions…I have to pay to print all of those copies of the manuscripts (single sided, double spaced), the questionnaires, to buy more three ring binders if the group expands or I need replacements, to ship (and return ship) to people beyond an hour’s drive, etc. But this is one of the best ways to learn, to perfect my work, to get detailed feedback, and eventually have contact with readers who are NOT family. I try to make sure most members of the group are strangers to me, and keep a good distance from them throughout the “experiment.”

Perhaps one might call me crazy for doing a Test Group. I’m not sure anyone else does them. I’ve not heard of it. If anyone does, and they read this blog, I’d love to trade stories. :)

Maybe the expense is a deterrent. Maybe people don’t believe they can learn from it. I made it work for me, but I can’t speak for anyone else.

The design of the Test Group is unique to me, since I had no model to base it on. The questionnaire took some time to compile and perfect (though the first copy had a typo that a reader caught!).

Finding readers is very difficult. I am always looking for them and I usually plan for twice as many as I have slots. The reason for this is simple: by the time Test Group rolls around half of them will drop out. Most of it will be personal issues, whatever life throws at them.

Test Groups…they are a lot of work and stress. Very rewarding though.

By the time I get this manuscript edited, back from eval, and through the Test Group, my query letter should be ready. Hopefully, I can make any adjustments I need to the manuscript at that time, have Laura slap my hands away from it long enough to query the select group of agents I have been researching, and we’ll see how it goes.

I wonder how my book will read then. It just keeps getting better. Most of the time, I’m nervous as heck about the whole thing. The roof is going to fall on my head, right?

Mel

Clumsy and Insane in PA

2010-02-04T03:59:00.000-08:00

I promised a whole post on the embarrassing part of my recent Query Travels trip. Here it is…

After driving nine hours to PA, I arrived at the hotel to have what I shall call “an episode in clumsiness and insanity.”

Because we had selected a location nearest the venue for where I was to see Janet Reid the following morning, I imagined that she just might be staying at the same hotel. Silly, yes? I know.

Still, that thought had somehow been turned into paranoia in my brain. Until, as I stumbled out of the car on my travel weary legs into the night, I felt nearly convinced she could be watching my clumsy as* from one of the windows. Surely she would see my computer bag, think “ah, a clumsy writer for me to point out and destroy tomorrow,” and I would be doomed before I ever arrived. Being very tired, nervous, and thrilled (I was going to learn from Janet Reid in person! Yes!) all rolled into one, combined with this paranoia and a strange environment didn’t help.

Mom brought a cart to put our stuff on. I helped load it up, surreptitiously trying to disguise my laptop bag while watching the windows out of the corner of my eye. I laugh when I think about it now, but I could almost hear the “Jaws” theme music playing.

So I start to push this unwieldy cart inside. The thing does not want to cooperate with me! The edge of it totally bumps into one side of the sliding glass doors, popping it off the track. Of course, I don’t know that, so I think I broke the door. I stand there with my mouth hanging open.

Just then, I look up to see a sharply dressed woman coming through the doorway—she’s obviously a guest, not an employee. She looks at me and the situation. And I say… “I think I broke the door.” Like an idiot. Without missing a step, she keeps on walking, but she frowns.

At this point, my paranoid brain goes into overdrive. I have no idea what Janet Reid looks like. So, naturally, I think… “Oh my god, I broke the door in front of Janet Reid!”

I can see in my mind the scenario of the next day. I pick a seat at the very back of the room; try to look inconspicuous, hide and duck as much as possible, still she finds me. Not only that, but my query letter is now number 30 of 30 in the rankings and I have to come to the front of the room to discuss the finer points of my epic failure. To be fair, even in my nightmare scenario, Janet teaches me from my mistakes…in front of the entire gathering, but still.

In a panic to save myself from the dire fate awaiting me, I scramble to fix the door. Is it fixable? Yes! Thank God I can pop the darn thing back on its track! And look, as I move into the sight it works like it should!

The stupid cart is moved on through. The lady—who I later learned was NOT Janet Reid, of course---came back and saw I had fixed it. She said nothing, but she smiled at me. I felt a little better. At least, in my newest scenario, I no longer heard the “Jaws” theme and the lighting in my “room of doom” wasn’t as dim.

When we got up to our room, I still worried about the whole thing. I searched the web to see if I could figure out what Janet looked like—to no avail. And the insanity just got worse. I hadn’t slept in days. Work, nerves, the thrill, and the newness of everything just overwhelmed me.

I paced the room as I made Mom laugh with these scenarios of what horrible things would happen to me the next day. My sister called to torment me. She threatened to drop Janet a line, and she might have done it too if it wasn’t so important to me. The Caits loves to prank me…and I got her good with that Jacob shirt! Laundry day is coming!

Mom tried to reassure me, but I was hopeless. Eventually, I took my medicine and went to bed.

Bright and early, I was up and at that meeting. Good Lord, you should have seen me. I felt like I was off to Kindergarten again. Mom had to walk me to the door and everything. And before she left, I hesitated three times. Janet is the Query Shark, but a gathering of writers is deceptive…like a pack of piranhas in murky water who claim to be vegetarians. They make me super nervous. And I hardly slept at all the night before. I probably looked like a vampire--and one of the youngest among them so an easy kill too—dressed in black, pale as can be, quiet. You wouldn’t even know I have been writing for as long as I have if you would have seen me that day. Mom should have brought me a lunch for emphasis, and handed it off right at the door.

When Janet spoke that morning, I did get up the courage to ask a question. I phrased it this way… “I hope this isn’t a stupid question, but…” And she said, “There’s only one stupid question. Do you know what it is?” Of course I didn’t. I thought it was mine. She then went on to say, “The only stupid question is, ‘Where is the ice?’” I hope I quoted her correctly. I think I’m pretty darn close. Anyhow, you get the point. She’s brilliant and funny, while I epic fail again. I almost wish I had a magic mirror to look back so I could see the expression on my face. Truly, it must have been the blankest look one person ever gave another. It’s just that I was overwhelmed by Janet—I find it hilarious how I couldn’t give a crap about an actor or singer, but present the Query Shark to me and I act like I’m five. I guess it’s all in who you respect and admire for their work. Sherrilyn Kenyon is also hella awesome. But I’m getting off topic.

That afternoon, I sat in the room with 30 other writers, Janet, Suzie, etc. One by one, she had us all state our protagonist’s name and what happens to them in ten words or less. Almost everyone failed. One guy got it—I didn’t envy him because I knew he had to make his whole manuscript fly. You have to win a few thousand battles before you win the war.

When she got to me, I started out okay…but I got caught up. “Nevaeh must save her family…” Janet interrupted.

“Why?”

I replied, “She loves her family.”

“Why?” she countered. Basically, she didn’t believe the approach. She wanted me to start differently, so she said, “Nevaeh must decide…?”

I repeated, “Nevaeh must decide…” And for the life of me I hadn’t a clue what she had to decide! What decision could Janet possibly be referring to? But I repeated twice more… “Nevaeh must decide…? Nevaeh must decide…?” while trying to figure it out. Plot point after plot point ran through my mind. The whole time I must have looked quite the idiot. Not that anyone else had it particularly better off than I (other than the one guy). Yet, my goodness, I don’t know how she stood me that long. Finally, she moved on saying she would come back.

Later, Janet came and sat down with me. I mention this in an earlier post so I won’t go into it again. She was great.

When we got back to the hotel, I was bone weary. Still, I went right to work. That folks, is the extent of my insanity.

I am glad to say that once rested, I no longer hear the “Jaws” theme. After my initial psyched period, I have set back to work on my manuscript. All is as it should be.

But I can’t help thinking…somewhere there is a random lady who is laughing to herself because she gave the “look” to some clumsy b*tch who nearly broke the hotel door. Said lady looked on with disapproval when she probably couldn’t have given a crap, while the clumsy b*tch looked like death warmed over and felt like it too. But she turned it around in the end because I did. I imagine how much more dramatic that night could have been to my paranoid mind if I hadn’t—if she hadn’t. Amazing what smiling at a stranger will do, huh?

Mel

Is anyone else "Going Bovine" ??????

2010-01-30T15:35:00.000-08:00

I am going to write a blog post, which will be part review, for Libba Bray's "Going Bovine."

A YA book that has me announcing a blog post is worth taking a look at. I didn't like "A Great and Terrible Beauty," but my goodness..."Going Bovine"... There's something about this one.

Read the first chapter or two--they're short. If you're not convinced, whether you end up liking the book or not, I'm pretty sure she'll hook you. Just take a look, will you, please? I wonder, after I didn't take--at all--to the author's other books, at the shock to my system.

Too, the YA section of the bookstore is sadly bereft of anything that grabs my attention like this. So few...sigh.

Libba Bray. It would seem I haven't learned my lesson on "second glances with new approaches." Shame on me. Ah well, at least I caught on to this one with the help of a very helpful bookseller (hope you get the promotion!).

I'm back to writing/editing for now.

Mel

P.S. The amazon addy if you want to check it out on the web:

http://www.amazon.com/Going-Bovine-Libba-Bray/dp/0385733976/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1264896506&sr=1-1

Passing Thoughts

2010-01-30T01:52:00.000-08:00

Death is not sad.

He’s free. I cannot say for sure if there’s joy in that freedom, but woe is definitely lacking. And relief flourishes.

You think this was unexpected? No. Plan B is finished. Plan A has only just begun.

Life is precious, to be lived. When it is over, it is over. Learning to let go is a skill that some people never learn. Understanding why we need to let go is a realization balanced between peace and terror, essential to the evolution of a soul.

Be selfless, not selfish in these times.

Mel

Janet Reid

2010-01-23T16:38:00.000-08:00

Janet Reid sat down with me and helped me with my query letter! Literally! Hella rad—on so many levels!!!

On a slightly more mature note, Janet was fabulous. She surprised me by being even funnier than she is when showing her wit in her blog(s). Oh, it wasn’t that she didn’t show her “inner shark” to me, because she did. And I was so grateful—even when she made me blush by going in for that fake bite. ;) Janet was wonderful because she, quite obviously, improved the query letters of everyone that afternoon. I think I could sum it up with one of her words…she made me/us “focus.”

I certainly would count myself among many who were stumped when she put us on the spot. Funny how simplicity is often the most difficult of obstacles. But I was determined. I didn’t drive nine hours to sit there! I wanted to learn from Janet Reid and she gave me the opportunity, without knowing me, or how far I drove, from any other crazy writer. How great is that, right?

So, I have a lot of editing to do on this query letter. Well, I have editing to do on the end of this manuscript. And now I have some to do on the first couple chapters, after some good input from Janet. Lots of work, but that’s okay--back to the grindstone for me.

I won’t be querying until April, as planned. Or perhaps May, with the extra work. The sweet and helpful Suzie, who accompanied/assisted Janet, is an agent as well at the same agency. I am only learning about her today, but she seems invaluable to Ms. Reid and very capable. When I query, I believe I will submit directly to Suzie who really impressed me with her knowledge of YA, her manner, and what I’ve read of her blog. She also looks at sci-fi YA, which is my thing… Yep.

I still plan to do a blog post on my clumsiness of the last couple days. How can I not? Laughs are in too short supply these days. And if you cannot laugh at yourself, then you are a jerk. At least, that’s my opinion.

Once again, Janet Reid rocks!

Must edit…

Mel

Here In PA

2010-01-22T18:18:00.000-08:00

So, I'm in PA. Mom is with me--hella rad! Trace Face has been teaching me the latest in "high school speak" (if you didn't notice) and that makes me laugh more often than not. She has a great sense of humor. It's working out wonderfully for my writing, too.

The trip was pretty dull until we hit the mountains in PA. The tips of the trees were ice covered and a blanket of mist shrouded the road, as well as the surrounding hillsides. Everything had a kind of eerie, solemn, and yet beautiful look to it. Of course, that happened to be the part of the trip you paid a toll to drive through. I guess you get what you pay for, right?

The drive took nine hours. I didn't expect quite that. But I wanted to come and learn from Janet Reid very much. So here I am. I'm nervous and tired...still thrilled.

I had a clumsy moment getting out of the car when we got to the hotel. But that is a story for a later blog, when I see if I can add to it with a horror story or two from tomorrow. After all, there is plenty of time to embarrass my myself then. And why not make a whole blog post of laughs? Yeah...

Well, I need to get some work done.

Later!

Mel

Query Travels

2010-01-21T15:45:00.000-08:00

I’m going to Pennsylvania on Friday to participate in a “Query Writing Boot Camp” on Saturday with twenty nine other writers and literary agent Janet Reid. So I’m pretty nervous and thrilled about that. The drive is a little over eight hours, but the opportunity to learn from the Query Shark in close quarters is too good to pass up—if a little frightening. I greatly admire her skills, and her wit.

My query writing skills could definitely use some fine tuning. I’ve only had books and the internet as references, so a lecture with “live” examples and possible “hands on” help will be wonderful. I’m not really one for conferences.

Oh, I don’t mind conventions—and yes, that makes me a geek. It’s just something about conferences where a whole bunch of writers, agents, and a few editors are pushed together feels…unnatural, uncomfortable. I don’t think I would be easy there and I don’t think I would have fun. I’d rather take classes to learn and meet other writers in smaller venues, with more frequency if needed. I’m not opposed to socializing, but I like to pick my environment. There’s a strategy to everything, and I don’t mean that to be cold. Suppose you could say I’m the Spock of writers. Lord that is the epitome of geekdom! I swear I’m not a Trekie! I did like Star Trek though….

Anyhow, Andrea looked over a draft of the letter for me and had a few good suggestions. And little editor Laura spent hours on chat going back and forth with me—she was awesome. I appreciate them so much! I can be such a pain, especially to Laura who is already fastidious as it is, when I am gearing up, as I was.

Of course, in the end I sorted through suggestions and came out with a final draft that I felt I could live with for the moment. But just for the moment. And I turned it in after reading over it a dozen times, because that’s what I had to do. Hopefully it won’t be too much trouble for Ms. Reid.

In the meantime, I continue to edit the end of this book! I’ve been in WV until I finished up my tests at the hospital. And I’ll be in Ohio until tomorrow morning. Always busy, and I must get this editing done!

Mel

How I found Douglas Clegg's "Isis"

2010-01-08T16:08:00.000-08:00

How I found Douglas Clegg's “Isis”

The month of December had been especially strange. That night didn’t fail to disappoint. I arrived at the bookstore just after dark, later than usual. Earlier in the day I had gone out of my way to make a purchase—a necklace.

Science Fiction had been cycling through my mind. When I passed through the doors of the Barnes & Noble I immediately spotted a book on the “Art of Avatar” which triggered an urge to detour from my usual path to the café where I write.

Instead, I headed to the very back of the store where the shelf for new releases in sci-fi was located. I thought I might check out what was available—I was/am a voracious reader, after all. As I wove through tables and shelves to the back wall, the compulsion only grew stronger. I could not be deterred.

When I passed the rows of manga and romance novels that signaled I had drawn near, my hand strayed to the little sparrow caught in the red gem that hung from a chain over my heart. The gesture was unconscious; as the necklace happened to be a new luck charm and I had this constant need to be sure it was still there.

Just then, I turned a corner. Directly ahead of me, the new release shelf towered. My steps slowed. My eyes locked onto a small hardback book at the very center. The title, set in crimson against black and white, read: Isis. There was one copy.

The author was unknown to me. And the illustration looked nothing like any of the others--not science fiction. So I assumed it was fantasy.

My hand reached out, as if someone were going to snatch it from me. Silly, I know. But at that point my gut was practically screaming that this book was the one that I had made the trip to the back of the store for! This little novella held something special, some experience or revelation necessary to my evolution.

Books are like that for me, sometimes. Fiction shows me a great truth about the world or about myself, one that I might have refused to see for any number of reasons. My theory is that only a truly gifted author can bring that out, and bring it out in such a way that anyone can understand it.

But, as I stood there my gut feelings started to be confirmed by little, startling clues. I flipped open the book and immediately came to a simple dedication page. All it said was, “For Mindy.” And those words were perched above, what appeared to be, a sparrow!

Everyone in my family likes to call me “Mindy” to this day. It was my childhood nickname--I never use it. I almost dropped the book! Of course, it was just a weird coincidence because I didn’t know the author from Adam. Still, with the name, it being the first page I flipped to, the bird and the whole ‘air’ of the night…I was a bit freaked.

The illustrations, as I flipped through the pages, were gothic and somehow, classic. The book, however, seemed to be a new release, as far as I could tell. Looking through the work was like looking back in time. I knew I had found a gem. I simply didn’t know what kind of gem it was.

To get a better sense of the work (i.e. if he would be consistent from the first chapter to the last, if I could trust him enough to buy a hardback without any other proof, basically) I read the author’s bio, which was impressive. But I couldn’t find a single one of his books in the store, other than the one in my hand. And I looked everywhere! Maybe he just happened to be popular…I don’t know. The experience fit with the evening. The way the book was just waiting there for me had felt so surreal.

I had also read the opinions of other authors on the back of the book, the blurbs. The odd thing about those was the assortment of authors. For a little while, I was kind of thrown. I suppose I was still trying to sort out where Isis belonged.

The novella looked like horror, and I guess that falls under Fantasy. On the other hand, it really could have been in the Young Adult section. In fact, it probably would have gotten a lot more attention sitting on the new release shelf, center aisle, in the YA section with the rest of the releases in that market. The whole thing kind of threw me, I suppose, being a writer. What do I know, though?

Anyhow, I finally wondered over to the café with the book and a few others I found on the walk to the opposite side of the store where I usually write. “Isis” intrigued me to the point that I found myself reading it rather than editing (I ended up buying it). It didn’t put me too far behind, about an hour—I’m an exceptionally fast reader. And the book was barely more than a hundred pages.

Iris Villiers’ story would not release me. I almost felt like I was looking at an enchanted mirror from my childhood, there were so many similarities I could draw. It’s exceptionally rare I find a book that does this for me. No, it wasn’t exactly alike—that would be ridiculous. But there were many truths that resonated with me.

And the story of Isis and Osiris, which forms the underlying theme of the plot, has fascinated me for years. I’ve attended lectures, been to museums, researched…the whole nine yards. So this simple, classic use by Clegg made me skeptical at first, yet did not disappoint.

To summarize the plot…

Iris Villiers lives among a dysfunctional, quietly broken family in Cornwall near the old ruins where legend is still very much alive. She needs and adores one of her older twin brothers, Harvey, more than anything else in life. He is love, companionship, laughter, protection, stability, and sanity—the world to her. But when a horrifying incident with her cruel new governess leads to a fall from a window, she is left broken and without her beloved brother. The chilling magic, the lure of the ruins where Harvey’s body has been entombed, now holds a forbidden promise. Though the Gardner has warned her, she can’t help wanting to call to that part of herself. Iris had to be Isis, and Harvey was her Osiris to raise from the dead… just like the play from their childhood. Wishing for such dark and yet beautiful dreams, however, has a dear cost that must be paid.

Here is where I found my particular revelation. I will quote the book:

“It was because she wanted him all for herself. Many died so that Isis could bring Osiris back from the land of the dead.” ~From “Isis” by Douglas Clegg

I never looked at the story of Isis as selfish before. But really, when I think about it, she was. And when I thought about everyone I have lost, what I said as I grieved over them…

I remember once, many years ago, begging someone to stay with me as their heartbeat slowed beneath my hands. I recall the rattling, wet, rasp of their labored rise and fall to breathe...those last few breaths. The desperation was so strong, and I remained utterly helpless in the face of something as great as death. Yet, I pleaded with them to remain, to fight when we were all exhausted and distraught. When he was gone, I kept crying, asking him to wait for me…to wait for me. How selfish is that? I regretted it later. I regret it now. Who was I? What was I?

Isis was even more selfish than I, by degrees. I see that now. She actually managed to bring Osiris back. I haven’t taken anyone from where they belong—not like that. At least I can take some measure of comfort there.

Iris Villiers’ story, on the other hand, is a true tale of horror. The message you are left with at the end remains with you. It is exemplary, in the sense that you are disturbed, deeply, and not disgusted as a lot of horror stories these days tend to carry on. I was truly impressed and I would recommend the book to the young adult audience, as well as on up the line in general horror (or fantasy, if we are going to place it in the bookstore...silliness). The simplicity and resonance of the work are the keys to its success, I suspect.

“Isis” is a captivating horror novella that left me with an uneasy feeling…the good kind. I may always hesitate before wishing for anything, anymore.

Mel

I included a link to Amazon with the pic on the side of the blog, as well as the addy below, where you can purchase the book. :)

http://www.amazon.com/Isis-Douglas-Clegg/dp/1593155409/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpi_2

Updating

2010-01-05T20:54:00.000-08:00

I updated the blog a bit. Not much to say. Still editing.

That is all.

Mel

Avatar in 3D--I Had To Say Something...

2009-12-22T02:48:00.000-08:00

Just a somewhat off-topic of writing message here. I had to say something because it's been on my mind since yesterday afternoon! So please, bear with me.

See Avatar in 3D! See it even if you have only a remote interest in the film's plot, trailer, sci-fi, etc. The experience of the movie is well worth the money you will have to pay. And considering how lost in my editing I have been lately, for me to take time to go to movie that long (2:40), as well as to have been caught up in it...that's saying a lot.

I feared it would be too "Dances With Smurfs," as they like to say on the web. But, I really liked how everything worked out for the Na'vi. Too, there were a couple of "agendas" in the plot--these happened to be environmental and military. However, I felt they fell short of being forced down my throat, so to speak. Therefore, I was able to enjoy the film. I understood the points that Cameron was making and I could set them aside to focus on the story without having them constantly shoved back in my face. This was very important to me. I was, shall we say, relieved overall? So, don't be afraid to take the risk.

And 3D is the way to go with the visuals in this film. Cameron outdid himself as a Director. The unknowns (Sam Worthington and Zoe Saldana) in the lead roles did a wonderful job of acting--some of the other actors struggled, but it didn't seem to matter. While the dialogue did tend to be corny on occasion, and the story somewhat predictable, the other elements more than made up for those failings. I even liked the alien romance aspect! Surprise for me! :)

I have to salute James Cameron for his role in inventing/improving the technology. What he's done will allow such wondrous things. My imagination is running wild with possibilities.

As I mentioned, I have been contemplating Avatar since I watched it yesterday afternoon. The images have been turning over and over in my head. I believe I may go see it again--I enjoyed it that much! Yeah...

I recommend you go see Avatar in 3D. You will miss out big time if you do not. That is all.

Mel

P.S. I might as well paint myself blue and join some sort of convention for the silliness of a post like this. Ugh. ;)

Editing

2009-09-26T23:56:00.000-07:00

Just updating everyone...

"Nightmares of Nevaeh" is currently being edited--by me--and partially rewritten. Not much to say, just working on it and getting closer. There will be at least one more edit after this, due to the rewritten part.

For those of you that are still waiting...many thanks and please continue. :)

Mel

Back To Basics -- Sigh

2009-05-27T22:19:00.000-07:00

I have been MIA for awhile now. But I just returned and I am starting in on a rewrite of 'Nightmares of Nevaeh'. Unfortunately, this will push its publication further down the road. The positive is I have been given some great advice on how to improve upon the manuscript. Since I am something of a perfectionist when it comes to my writing, the rewrite is necessary.

I'm sorry if you are STILL waiting on this. I am close, honestly. There just seems to be a few obstacles left to overcome before I get it there.

Thanks for your patience. :)

Mel

Status Update

2009-04-04T09:22:00.000-07:00

Not much is going on right now. I am working on a new piece while I await the evaluation of NoN. I have to say that I am enjoying writing a comedy...it's a nice change. So far it is working out quite well.

There was a tie on the poll for this month's featured YA author, so I just picked one and I will have the other for May. J.K. Rowling is April's pick, in case no one noticed.

I spend a lot of time away from the internet lately so if you need to contact me, just drop me an e-mail and try to be patient. :)

Thanks!

Mel

I Have Returned

2009-03-27T19:28:00.000-07:00

So, my hiatus from writing/work went ok. I am back to writing once again. However, I have decided not to do anymore editing on NoN until it gets back from being professionally evaluated. I fear I am destroying it. Eeek!

In the meantime, I am working on a comedy, probably YA, that is a contemporary. No sci-fi, fantasy, horror, etc, elements are in its makeup. The lighter tone is less stressful on me while I am feeling not-so-good. And I think this book, which is a stand-alone, will be a lot easier to market than NoN.

Nightmares of Nevaeh, the Nevaeh Series really, is my magnum opus -- I don't think of it as a plural because it feels more like a project. Once the series is completed and on the shelves, I think I will be satisfied with my work in general, more or less. I'm feeling the pressure to publish. These things never move quickly, but I can't tell the anxiety that...it just won't listen. :)

Not much else to say. I have lots of health stuff going on, but that isn't unusual for me. And I am very tired. Still, I am enjoying the time I spend on this comedy. Right now, that has to be good enough.

Mel

Hiatus and I

2009-03-21T01:09:00.000-07:00

I am going to be on a temporary hiatus from my life, such as it is, for the rest of the weekend and into the first half of next week. So if I do not respond to your e-mails, comments, posts, etc., it is not because I have an issue with you or something. And I may answer some, depending on how I feel and if I check for messages.

Basically, the deal is I need to ‘reset’ myself. I am exhausted, so annoyingly weak that my hands shake as I type, and I do not want to become burned out in the editing process. I’m going to sleep for days, try to get some fluids in me, and do my best to not think of anything that stresses me out. If I don’t take this hiatus I think my health will continue to be more of a problem. I can’t have that.

So, perhaps I will sew or read. Mostly sleep. I wonder if any other writers have to do this at some point(s) in their careers?

If you have a HIATUS story of your own, please do share in comments. I would love to read them, if not today, then in the near future. But read them, I will.

Have a great week, Peeps! :)

Mel

Works In Progress, Works Outlined, and A Writer’s Etiquette

2009-03-17T01:15:00.000-07:00

I currently have twenty four works that are either in progress or outlined and waiting. That isn’t counting any adaptation scripts, since I am counting the novels. There would have been more than twenty-four, but when my last laptop suddenly died I lost several pieces of work. Some I can resurrect, but others I can’t seem to recall the details beyond a word or two from the title and a piece of the idea.

More story ideas come to me each day, though I don’t always write them down because I can spot the material obviously meant only for my mind. I have an excellent imagination, which isn’t always a good thing. I can write in third person or first person. As to that, I don’t really have a preference when reading (though I avoid present tense like the plague), however I do tend to use first person with YA material and third person with everything else. In YA, it has been my experience with that age group that they prefer first person. None of them really explain why that is to me, not very well anyway. Still, it’s what I have seen.

When it comes to length, I tend to stay right around 100,000 – give or take five thousand odd words. The most novels I have written in a year’s time is five. The greatest word count I achieved in one sitting was twelve thousand. I recall those high-count days very well, as the material seemed to keep flowing and I couldn’t bring myself to stop until I was in distracting physical pain.

And the more I write, the faster I type. I have no idea what the number would be, but I can tell is absurdly higher than what it was four years ago. And I never have to look at the keys like I did in High School. :)

You know, I am my greatest enemy, my worst critic, etc. In editing I am so obsessive in wanting to achieve perfection that other people have to stop me from over-editing and thus destroying the work. Yet, I have very tough skin, so to speak, for a writer. Criticism of my work doesn’t devastate me or anywhere near that result. I’m also open minded, good at listening to the opinions of others, considering them appropriately, and deciding whether their point(s) is valid or not. For the most part, I’m competent at weeding out the good advice from the bad.

Perhaps most importantly, I know how to conduct myself as a writer. I don’t ever react overtly defensive (hinting at a closed mind), with vengeance, or with any other behavior unbecoming of a writer around my peers, reviewers, agents, editors, etc. As well, I remember my ‘please and thank you’ routine. I know how to properly address someone, and do so with respect. I don’t whine about rejections on message boards and I don’t anonymously slam reviewers, etc. I’ve never reviewed a book on Amazon for spite, which seems to be a common occurrence. My Mother taught me that I should treat people the way I want to be treated. Thus, that is how I conduct myself. There are many other etiquette mistakes writers make these days and it makes me sad. Sometimes I wish some professional with a lot of clout could give a free lecture on YouTube or something. Sure, maybe only a small portion of writers will change, but isn’t a small portion worth the effort? I wonder if that makes me an idealist. Funny, I had always thought I leaned toward pessimism.

In writing this blog post, I don’t mean to sound like I think I am better than anyone else. I only intend to give my perspective on the subject. It occurred to me that this could all be perceived differently and I wanted to make that known, clear.

Anyhow, so I have the twenty-four works. Some of them are spec scripts (3) and six of the number include the first in a series (so six series in the works). In other words, I have an awful lot on my plate. I have to force myself to keep to one or two projects at a time; Otherwise progress is slow or practically nonexistent. Writing is my primary job and I have my own pile to work through/on.

Currently I am working on the first in the Nevaeh Series, Nightmares of Nevaeh’; I’m editing it. The second is a script for the Academy’s competition. However, I have not decided for sure if I will be entering. If it isn’t polished enough by the deadline I refuse to put it out there.

Speaking of contests, I apparently am not moving forward in the ABNA, as I suspected and noted in an earlier blog. On the other hand, I did make it past the first cut. Two reviewers reviewed my excerpt (and it was so bad when I turned it in that I dread to read, yet am eager to learn, the two being given to me). Since no one has any idea about the numbers in the competition, I would have to base this percentage on the projected numbers in the rules. In that case, I made it into the top 20%, perhaps even the top 10%. Either way, it isn’t bad. And they liked my pitch (which I didn’t, so who knows?). Congrats to those who made this latest cut though! :)

I think I will send NoN for a professional evaluation soon. Since I am doing that, I may work on one of my lighter novels, a comedy maybe. Everything has been so stressful and serious for years. I also have a funny non-fiction I could work on. We’ll see.

Among the twenty four on my list is a really controversial novel. It’s very clear in my head and exceptionally powerful. However, I do not like to write controversy. I also think that each book has it’s time. Unfortunately, I think this book’s peak time is fast approaching. I probably should put it higher on my work list. Yet, I do not want to be tossed back and forth violently amid public opinion and possibly targeted for physical harm or murder. No, I am not being dramatic. The book is that controversial. So you see, it may never be seen by anyone but me and those closest to me. On the other hand, I wonder if I am wrong to keep the underlying message of the novel from being communicated with readers. I write to entertain, not with agendas. If there are any messages in my novels they are positive ones. And this controversial book makes me question a lot of things. Maybe I would be lucky and it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe it will be worse. The point is I need to write the novel soon if I am going to do it and I can’t decide if I should. Ugh.

I believe I will start posting book reviews regularly in my blog. Sure I know that hardly anyone will care to read them. It is just that I read SO MANY books that I think I should do something for the ones that really catch my attention. Primarily I will review romance novels and YA novels.

Well, that’s enough for one day.

Mel

The New Cover Illustration for 'Nightmares of Nevaeh'

2009-03-15T12:52:00.000-07:00

Cover Illustration: Marenoc/concept © Mel Skinner ("Nightmares of Nevaeh") Artwork © Jen Philpot

This is the new Cover Illustration for my book, 'Nightmares of Nevaeh'. After the artist (Jocarra) kindly took on the second project with great results, well, I'm very happy with it. :D

Please let me know what you think of the cover. You can be honest.

Mel

What Music Defines You and How Does Music Affect Your Writing?

2009-03-11T22:45:00.000-07:00

I meant to post this yesterday, but I didn't get a chance. Just in case you are wondering why there are two posts on one day. :)
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If I had an album to define me and my life it would Within Temptation’s ‘The Silent Force’. I think everyone interprets lyrics somewhat differently from the next person, so what the band intended may not be what I see. Yet, based on the lyrics, the sound, and the general ‘feel’ of the album, ‘The Silent Force’ would be it for me.

What about you? What album defines you and your life?

On a similar topic, I know that my writing is almost symbiotic with music. If I can’t listen to music while I am writing there is no flow to the work. I also work much more slowly without music.

A couple of years ago I took up the formal practice of having a playlist for each of my books. With rewrites it tends to change, often dramatically so. But the thing about my playlists is I design them so that the novel can be read practically in time to the music meant for each chapter. This, of course, would not be exact as everyone reads at a different speed, more or less.

Still, it takes me a long time to compile the right music, usually based on what I was actually listening to when I wrote that scene/chapter or a song that fits perfectly in sound and lyrical composition. I don’t mind creating the playlists because they are, to some degree, self gratifying. As well, the readers seem to enjoy the lists. I don’t know if they actually listen as they read, but they at least like to know what I was listening to when I wrote the book. So yeah, I think playlists are a very good thing for an author/writer to have available. Well, unless your taste in music tends to be a bit too extreme for your target reader group. :)

So, how does music influence your writing? Do you adhere to the playlist principle?

I would love to hear other writers’ thoughts on these subjects.

Mel

The Story Behind the Creation of My ‘Nightmares of Nevaeh’

2009-03-11T22:25:00.000-07:00

There is what amounts to a year of my life that I cannot remember at all. A dark space of missing time remains in the wake of my choices over roughly the last seven years. The worst of the traumas occurred between September of 2001 and the spring of 2004. But I believe the majority of my lost time comes from 2003. I’m not sure if that is subconsciously repressed or simply gone forever.

I never really talk about the traumas. The experience is always painful, no matter which incident I attempt to divulge -- something like coming very close to having a catharsis, yet being unable to find the release and healing. Sometimes I think of myself as damaged. I wonder if the decline in my physical health doesn’t somehow correlate to the remains of mental trauma. Perhaps being unable to let these things pass is gradually breaking me down.

You know, I was always an odd child. I had an overactive imagination when I was small. Since I turned thirteen I have had nightmares (since 2004, night terrors occasionally, too) every time I would sleep. I used to hate that. Even on the exceptionally rare occasions when my nightmares weren’t horrific, they always ended tragically. I almost wished they had been horrific when I woke up. Due to this ‘nightmare condition’ and the traumas in my life, I think I covet peace more than any other miserable soul I know. Yet, that is one thing I am continually denied. But I say ‘used to hate’ because my writing draws primarily from them, and writing gives me a purpose as well as a distraction from living on the darker side of the hill.

Who is to say what feeds nightmares? Is it what you eat before bed? What you watch? The collective remains of your day? The traumas you can’t let go of? Perhaps something you’ve heard? Science has a lot of explanations for nightmares.

My ‘Nevaeh Series’ was inspired or guided by nightmares. In a way, I created the entire storyline from the subconscious. I believe that, at least in my case, nightmares are part science and part spirituality. ‘Nightmares of Nevaeh’ was inspired by one, yes, but I cannot recall anything scientific from the days preceding that particular nightmare to explain it. I think the nightmare was actual a spiritual one, if it can be termed that way. And every time I became stuck on where to take the story next, another nightmare fed me information…like pieces of a puzzle I had to put together when I woke up. Maybe those nightmares were more subconsciously pushed by scientific factors than the initial nightmare. All the same, my protagonist has the same nightmare I had originally in the first chapter of the book.

The title of the book is rather obvious in this way. :)

I could speak metaphorically… If my writing were a living entity, then my nightmares would compose the skeleton. Every trauma as well as each small joy would create and shape the flesh. Except for the heart, this would be the sickness, Guilt. Blood would be the essence of Grief. Seen this way, my writing is perhaps a strange creature, darkly beautiful, tragic, yet not entirely without hope.

No matter my circumstances or experiences, I have yet to lose that last essential message. Even in nightmares, hope exists. Surrendering to fears merely blinds us that perpetual flicker of light in the darkness. I believe that is one of the main philosophical points I wished to make in ‘Nightmares of Nevaeh’.

Mel

Characters In Relation To the Author

2009-03-10T21:21:00.000-07:00

My protagonist, Mary/Nevaeh, doesn’t have a lot of me in her. We share the same favorite book, and the same position in our family, more or less. That is pretty much where the comparison ends. Though I think every character of mine, even the antagonists, have something of me in them. The important factor to note is that the percentage of ‘me’ in each character varies greatly. Sometimes my characters are based on people I know or knew. Still, there is a percentage of ‘me’, which I think is unavoidable for a good author. It’s something like an actor’s position.

To understand, we must become. In becoming, we see. And in seeing we can give a part of ourselves, leave our mark on that which we set apart. So in creating we are dually character and creator for scattered moments in time. Even when we are separated, no matter how great or small the mark we have left behind, the ultimate connection stands. And it is that connection that serves as the beginning for every reader’s relationship with our characters and their stories. The plot may compel, but the characters leave OUR marks on them.

That’s just my thoughts on the subject.

The subject brings to mind another issue. I sometimes wonder how people used to (maybe some still do) believe that if no one forgets about you it means you still live, that you are immortal. This is said when someone important dies, usually. I wonder if creating a memorable character, one that stays with generations, means that creator and creation will live beyond death. Just a random thought.

Mel

Editing, Scripts, Research, Blogging....yeah.

2009-03-09T12:20:00.000-07:00

I updated the blog with a new Featured YA Author of the Month, which can always be found at the bottom of the page above the Astronomy Picture of the Day and some of my favorite quotes from other Authors. There is also a poll for next month’s featured YA Author of the Month to the side. Whichever Author gets the highest number of votes, I will feature in April.

As for ‘Nightmares of Nevaeh’, I am returning to yet another editing stage. I received some good responses from the few agents I queried, had requests, but they all seemed hesitant on one point. I’m going to see if I can work on that. I might have it professionally evaluated, too. At any rate, it slows the publication process down.

I entered NoN in the ABNA contest, but I seriously doubt I will make the cut on the 16th. My pitch was awful. And my first chapter has since been tightened. So yeah, I am not expecting anything on that count. Anyways, I don’t think they are looking for what I’m selling. They seem to want strong literary or thriller/mystery manuscripts. Mine is a Sci-fi Romance for young adults.

I have been doing some research for a new spec script. If it is in good enough shape before the deadline in May, I will enter it in the Academy’s Nicholl’s Fellowship. Skip Press (www.SkipPress.com) brought that to my attention not too long ago. But the research is very difficult to attain without traveling to specific locations to interview people. I am trying to do that via the internet, but I don’t know how that will work out.

The idea for the script came to me as a combination of an experience I had when I was in middle school and a short story I wrote last year. Together they formed a pretty neat plot. So, I outlined it thoroughly, began my research, and started working on the script. I believe I am twelve pages in, so far.

There is a high probability that I will adapt the screenplay into a novel, regardless of the Nicholl’s Fellowship. I can’t get too far off schedule with NoN, so the adaptation is a back burner sort of thing. The script, while not easy, is fairly quick work though. So while I am waiting to hear from one more agent, concentrating on editing, and scheduling related activities, I can also work on ‘Ryder’. Yes, it’s a working title for the script. When it is finished I will know what to call it, I think.

What is fairly unusual about this script is it is not a fantasy, horror, sci-fi, etc. In other words, it is a low budget script, and it could be filmed in states with tax breaks. I normally can’t help but write high budget because of my ‘imagination’. But this time is very different. I think it could be classified as a Romantic Drama. The target audience would be the middle school to young adult range. Yes, very different for me. Maybe different will turn out to be a good thing.

Other than all of that, my health hasn’t been great. I’ve been in and out of the hospital in the last couple of weeks. Thought I was going to have to go back in today, but I think I managed to convince everyone I’m ok. My health has never been great. In the last six years or so it has been particularly bad. But I do have long periods where I am fine. I’m going to live much longer than I want to, I’m sure. ;)

So, enough said for one day. I hope everything is going well for you guys and girls!

Mel

An Idea for Query Letters and the Web

2009-02-22T08:35:00.000-08:00

I read something recently that got me to thinking. Their idea: a website where writers can post a query letter, synopsis, sample chapters, and the manuscript in a sort of profile. That way a link sent to an agent could provide them with any and all of the information they needed. It's a good idea, but it has quite a few problems that will arise from its creation. (i.e. links to wrong site, the initial e-mail doesn't tell if the book is something the agent would deal with, etc)

So I thought about it a while. I remembered some of the search engines for agents already in existence. And then I thought to myself, what if there was a website with the reverse? A site where agents who are looking for new clients can go to do a targeted (advanced) search of what THEY are looking for, what they want to represent. That would certainly take the load off of them, seeing how swamped with queries they are this year. Also, the only way they would need to send a rejection letter is if they requested the manuscript. No need to feel like they hurt anyone's feelings or receive a nasty reply to the rejection. You can see where the writers benefit as well.

On this website, writers would have a profile with their short bio, query letter, synopsis (short and long), and sample chapters available. The full manuscript could either be downloaded from the site where it is stored (with the author's permission first), or if storing the manuscript file on the web is too difficult for such a website, then the agent can request directly from the writer via their e-mail address or contact info. This would also give writers an opportunity to show their personality, unlike the standard, stale query. In the design/layout, through a blog or link to a blog, and maybe some pictures, they could show the agents what kind of person they will be dealing with. If you appear to be likable and intelligent, it might influence an agent who is wavering on a request. Some other good things for writers include that they could take their time, make friends and get critiques or advice on the website from their fellow writers. Generally, they can have fun with the process as opposed to stressing over it.

I'm not saying this idea would make finding an agent/client nothing but sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. Or that it is without errors. I'm saying this has the potential to make the process significantly less stressful, more efficient, and fun. Who would have ever thought that writing query letters could be fun? Well, I'm saying it is possible. With a website like the one I propose, I can even say it is probable.

Seems like anything that could take away some of that pain I see in my fellow writers' eyes upon rejection, or turn an agent from a stressed out cynic into someone who can smile while doing their job (and mean it), would be worth the try.

What do you think?

Mel

Comparing the Writer’s Growth with the Child’s Growth

2009-02-21T21:32:00.000-08:00

In spending so much time among other writers I have observed many personalities, behaviors, and situations. I came to understand quite a few things from my interactions with them. Looking back now, I consider how very similar a writer’s growth is to that of a human’s --mentally and sometimes, physically. I'm speaking of the growth and not the fact that writers are humans (well, for the most part), if that makes any sense to anyone other than myself.

To become a writer is like being born again (not the religious reference). In the beginning we need special attention and encouragement, as an infant would. Our fragile egos and underdeveloped skills need a loving hand to survive that most difficult time. And yes, beginnings are always the most difficult stage for anyone. Rarely can a writer survive that time alone.

As we grow, many of us will continually test our boundaries, only to be put firmly back in our place because we aren’t yet ready, as a child who wants to play with the older children. Many of us cry, some of us grow more determined, and some of us turn away all together. Sadly, there are writers who become stunted at this stage and never evolve past it. That could be due to a ‘parental’ or teaching’ figure who leads them down the wrong path, or being held back so long they fear going forward, or even being told by an authority figure that they shouldn’t ‘quit their day jobs’. But for the rest of us, we eventually learn our strengths and weaknesses. We start to understand when we are ready. Then we make adjustments or advance accordingly.

In a writer’s teenage years you see the same rebellion as with children. Their book is tied to their volatile emotions and they react to any changes or restraints on their ideas with defiance. They don’t want to believe the system can hold power over them. Sometimes they rebel in small ways, and sometimes they make grand statements. In this stage, many writers fall because they let their emotions overrule their reason. In these years, we eventually learn to temper our reactions, toughen our skin, and generally make improvements upon ourselves so that we are ready to take our work out among the bigger fish in the sea.

As a young adult, there are more lessons to be learned --I suspect we never stop learning. Here is where gaining social skills and an understanding of society, as well as the world around you, is vital to evolution. Though writers are, more often than not, naturally reclusive, they force themselves to socialize. In selling themselves (not their bodies, ugh), they are selling their book(s). That doesn’t mean you have to be Miss America or Brad Pitt –though that can’t hurt your case. What it means is you have to be likable to your readers, respectful to your colleagues (other writers/authors), and conduct yourself in such a way that people (publishers, agents, etc) will want to do business with you. All of those manners you were taught (or read about) as a child come into play here. With any goal there will be discouraging obstacles, but those that learn to overcome them are the ones who move on from this stage.

As a mature author the ins and outs of business will take up a lot of their time. Life can make you weary. Everything you have cultivated will have to be maintained. Along the way many create a family of sorts made up of other authors who they respect and care for, to reflect their personal life and any family they might acquire therein. Their career may rise and fall with the goings on in the world, just like any other career. What makes the greatest of these authors is that they live their careers. Writing becomes so much a part of them that all of their days and nights are touched by it, called by it. A mature author must find the balance in the call and the life outside of that calling.

Since I am not old enough, nor have I spoken to enough elderly writers, I can’t continue on with my comparison. But, as you can see there are numerous similarities thus far. Writing is a rebirth…first of the mind, and at some point, part of the soul. For every true writer draws from their soul, and that is how they come to claim the title.

If you were to ask, many authors couldn’t exactly put words to how they ‘knew’ they were a writer. Some have mentioned being published; others have claimed it was something they always wanted to do. And yet, I think the truth is in the evolution of the writer, and whether or not their mind and soul become a part of that existence.

Mel

The Blog and My First Novel

2009-02-15T16:57:00.000-08:00

I thought I would start an Author blog. I don't have much to say at the moment, but I'm sure that will change. In the meantime, here are some links to my websites and my profile on Amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A1699WE0IBTPAM

http://www.melskinner.com/

http://www.nightmaresofnevaeh.com/

http://www.myspace.com/nightmares_of_nevaeh

Later!

Mel